Category: so scared

So I just got back from drive through testing for COVID-19. This morning around 9am, I had a fever. I also feel a heaviness in my chest. It doesn’t help that I have anxiety and have had panic attacks before. So it’s hard to know if the heaviness is just anxiety or something else. My cats know there’s something wrong. 

I have to say that I was really impressed with the way the drive-though testing is set up. It’s really organized and you don’t evebn have to get out of your car. The officers there help you to feel comfortable and stop to talk with you rfrom a distance to try and help reassure you. I felt OK while in my car, my breathing was better, but I definitely still had a fever. I took some tylenol this morning and I just took some again when I got back. Now I have to wait 3 – 5 days for the results which is going to be very hard. My brain is doing cartwheels and my anxiety has started again. I am 42 and relatively healthy, but I am still petrified. I am worried not tso much for me but more for my cats. If I have to go to the hospital for whatever reason, there is no one esle here to look after them. They depend on me and me only. 

I am sure there must be other people on here who have been tested, maybe who have even been tested positive and who are ok. I need some reassurance. I am so worried and scared. The worst part is that if I am positive, I have no freaking clue where I got it from! I’ve not been on vacation. I never go out except to do groceries or for a walk. I’ve been ordering groceries to my door for the last week and a half also and haven’t been in contact with anyone since I tool Oreo to the vet a couple of weekend’s ago. I went to the vet, post office and grocery store on the 15th. Since then, nowhere. I even wore a mask and gloves when I went.

I have no idea how I will sleep tonight, or until I get the results… I have no idea how my brain will handle making videos or trying to do my online classes either. I am a mess. I am trying to apply for EI benefits because the Canadian Government has made them accessible to anyone who has been tested, even freelancers. But the site is so bogged down it’s discouraging. If anyone has some words of encouragement in all this, I’d really appreciate them! I’ll keep you posted on what the results are. You might see more wordy posts for the next few days too while I spill what’s making me anxious.